What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

What do you mean son?

What is one fantasy you have never told anyone about but really want to do?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

How do you leave a relationship when you are still in love?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

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True - how I loved my mum!

Do you know what she said mum?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

Why are Republicans so brainwashed and oblivious to the fact that a lot of the price increases going on right now is due to corporate greed, not inflation?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

What! how could you do that?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”